On the topic of handicapped parking spaces, why doesn't the government just hand permits out to everyone? Or, better yet, just make ALL spaces handicapped, and reserve 10 regular spaces in the back of the lot for the 2% of the population that is "healthy" enough to make that 100 yard trek to the front door of Costco. Has anyone noticed that the "handicapped" are usually the ones that need the exercise from a long walk the most? Get off your Rascal, fatso, and get crackin'...
From our Memphis correspondent Gary Japan, we have a new sport - Urban Coon Hunting. He describes - "Well, you need a .22 caliber rifle that's fully auto and a carbine, with sub-sonic ammo so as not to alarm the neighbors. Then, I have a motion detector that wakes me up by shining a blinding light in my face when it gets tripped. I rarely sleep anymore with all the false alarms, but my newborn son Tommie Barbados keeps me up anyway.
I've picked one off already, and I dropped off in back of a Del Taco for use in their lunchtime special. I was bummed though - I should have saved the tail for hanging from the rear-view mirror of my F-250. Oh well - I got lots more coons on my radar!"
Tomorrow: Gary Japan's buddy Robb Uruguay and his mysterious Tivo loaded with porno...
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