One piece of poo + another piece of poo = greatest investment of all time?

So here lies Sears Holdings - off 50% or more from it's all-time high. What's wrong? Do they hold toxic-tranche CDO's?

Nope.

They sell clothes. Badly.

I realize when Eddie Lampert bought the bonds of a bankrupt K-Mart back-in-the-day, that there was some underlying value in the real estate holdings and inventory, bully to him (and Marty Whitman of 3rd Avenue Funds) for doing the due diligence and knocking it out of the park. Bring it out of Chapter 11, convert the debt to equity and get the hell out - that's how's it's done, right?

Apparently not...

Fresh off a weekend of crack-smoking, he goes out and decides that they should merge with Sears...possibly an even LARGER piece of shit. The market goes crazy - "Eddie Lampert is the new Warren Buffett!" proclaim the pundits, and both stocks take off like a rocket, headed toward wedded bliss.

I laughed heartily, wondering why this putz was going to throw away his reputation as a savvy hedge fund manager for a life of being called "The Dumbest Man In Retail". Poo + Poo = A large piece of poo, not the next Microsoft.

It's only now that the market is figuring out that this is a $20 stock, not a $200 one...idiots...

Here's the answer you are looking for Eddie: break what's left into a tool store (Craftsman), a clothing store (LL Bean), and an appliance/electronics store (Kenmore). You can Paypal me a McKinsey-esque consulting fee later...I know you're good for it...